Lost in thought

I had the house to myself, the first time in a long while. I turned off all the lights, fans and anything that made a noise. I lit a smelly candle in my room and laid on my bed. I slowly let myself relax, taking in the fruity smell I chose. I need something… Out of these clothes for starters. If I could get away with it, I’d be a nudist. I’m always very aware everything I’m wearing. I wear flip flops and kick them off whenever I think I can get away with it because I just can’t stand clothes any more. I catch my reflection out of the corner of my eye. My boobs hang, I have a small stomach trying to protrude, love handles. All things that I was taught to frown on growing up. Barbie, beauty was Barbie, I was once a Barbie… Glad I’m not now, it is not worth it, and I don’t really believe that it is very healthy anyways. I grab my boobs and lift them up a bit, they are soft right now from lack of stimulation. I laugh because I can’t figure out if that is a good thing or not. I did not need to look at the mirror, getting out of my clothes didn’t do it, I walked out the door into the hallway and found myself looking at my liquor cabinet. Why do we even have this thing anyways, it’s not like we drink very often. We stocked it once… I find myself grabbing the whiskey without remembering that I even grabbed the key. I found a glass and wondered back into my room. When was the last time I had whiskey? At a bar with that really sweet marine. He wanted to know if I could handle it straight, maybe with a bit of Coke. I’m more of a Dr Pepper girl but Jack and Coke when done right, has a lovely taste. I find myself standing in the middle of the room taking a drink while looking around. A small part of me wants to cough, but I don’t. It always shocked people that I could drink some things like water. I’m bored and there is something that I want to do. It is here in this room, what is it? My eyes fall on my closet and I set the bottle, but not the glass down before I walk in it. I finger some of the things that are hanging up. In the very back, on the support rail that holds up the bar for the rest of the clothing I have my special stash. I move the clothes out of the way and touch the pieces there. They each had a few memories attached to them. I start laughing when my hand finds a tangled mess and pull that hanger free. Walking out of the closet I try to fix the red thing with one hand. So much easier to do with two hands. It is mostly strings that make triangles over my boobs (with mesh netting) forms a triangle on my stomach, somehow on my love handles and the thong panties are a triangle, I’m surpised they didn’t try to make the skirt more of a triangle… I drop one of the things that make triangles on my hands because they have a heart shaped ring thing. Where did I get this? I don’t remember. Laughing I put it on and look in the mirror again. I don’t think I look bad, and I can almost see the appeal. Still, I’m missing something, where did I put my drink? On my nightstand, speaking of. I open the bottom drawer and shift somethings around until I feel something soft on my fingertips. I grab the pink sugarbag, huh, I thought I had the leopard print on the outside, oh well. I open it and peek inside and then dump the contents onto the bed. I look at the arrangement of toys and ponder. Which one, which two? Why the hell is there a pacifier in here…? My thoughts stray to a time when I let the marine blindfold me and tie me to the bed, he stuck a pacifier in my mouth… He was just as amused when I returned the favor at a later date. But what was that thing doing in my bag now? That had been years ago… Into the trash it goes… I don’t care how many times I wash my toys, things that go in my mouth do not go into this bag… I pick a toy and start to find a rhythm when I realize that my roommate is standing next to the bed. Merde

#drpepper #jackdaniels #nsfw