Sensual Frustration

I miss sex, I miss rough sex, the kind that reminds you of different types of extreme metal. I want to be forced into submission, and I want that to take a while. I want to feel him in me while I’m restrained in some way somehow.

But when I day dream, I day dream about being touched. And while I day dream, I feel it, touch memory I call it. It is not as good as the real thing, and like the real thing, leaves me craving for more. But I find myself surprised at what I feel. Light, gentle touches that make me think of classical music that you play when you want to soothe someone.

Depending on how I am sets the course of the invisible hand. Almost always it starts on the back of my hand and slowly traces up my arm and across my collar bones. I day dream with my eyes clothes, but I can still see everything around me and my eyes follow the touches when they can see where. Lovely mid-range piano note dance out a melody.

I enjoy it more when the touch goes to my back than to my chest. It is only recently that I have started enjoying and being aroused by someone playing with my breast. It I prob because I am still not sure how It feels to enjoy being touched on my chest that it typically ignores that part of my body. But when it goes to my back I feel multiple contacts randomly moving, still soothingly, but in in no real order. Sometimes the touches press harder, like trying to work out a knot making that part of me tingle like the feeling after your hand fell asleep.

If it is practical I feel the whole hands slide past my love handles. I have recently been slowly gaining weight, and those touches send a feeling of enjoyment, like whoever is doing the touches is glad for them. Considering my last few partners I know that this is true, even if it is a foreign idea to me. I am forced to stop slouching and there is warmth against my back while the touches start playing with my stomach that is surprisingly comforting, sometimes one or both hands will go up between my breast and touch across my collar bone and then touch my neck, exploring it before brushing fingers on the bottom half of my face.

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